Letter to Anyone That Will Listen

I honestly cannot explain how I am feeling. Yes the medicine helps but otherwise there are some days where I feel like a hollow carcass with nothing inside. I feel empty as though i’d just received the dementor’s kiss. I suppose it could be the stress of school beginning to weigh on me, or personal relationships. I can’t seem to find a way to be at peace within myself though. Internally. I feel…empty. I keep thinking sleep will help, it’s like a human reset button after all. It doesn’t help much though. Yes, you wake up feeling refreshed, but not too long after that you put that mask back on. And when you truly feel happy, the crash that comes afterwards is completely devastating. The physical symptoms are the worst though. The knots inside your belly that won’t untwist, the problems generally digesting any food in general. The ill feeling you get when you see something you don’t want to…

I know that it isn’t easy right now but i also know that things will get better. I have to keep thinking that. I pray for the health of everyone around me and myself, but now it really is time to focus on myself and listen to what my heart and body are telling me. I know what feels right and what feels wrong and I need to trust myself with that. I need to take a breath and give myself some time and space to think. Most of all, I need to have patience with myself. It’s so much easier to be patient with others, but you always expect more from yourself than you do anyone else. Also, I need to listen to my impulsive alter ego. They’ve got a voice in my head for a reason, so whether I write down what I want to do or actually do it, I’m letting it get a say in what is happening. I know what is best for me, and I am strong.


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