Letter to Love

I know that you’re watching me.  Through half-lidded eyes, pretending to nap on the sofa, trying to keep your breathing even.  I’m chopping vegetables and rinsing out dishes and I can feel your gaze on me as I move around the kitchen.  Although I can’t know what it is exactly that you’re thinking, I know you make me feel safe.

You are a kind man.  Uncomplicated and generous.  Not perfect to anyone else but me.  There’s nothing superficial about you or what you add to our world.  You say what you mean and you mean what you say.  Anything in between, you honour with silence until you’re ready to speak.  When you do speak, I trust your integrity.  When you smile, I trust your intentions.  And when you love, I trust that you’re as present with me as I am with you.

You show me when you’re angry, hurt or in pain.  You don’t hide yourself from me – you let me see you.  It makes it so much easier for me to steel my own courage and be seen.  Vulnerability doesn’t frighten or emasculate you – you’re aware of your limitations and you embrace them.  I notice how careful you are with language, knowing as you do that words can make or break a marriage.

You came to me late in my life but I’m so grateful I waited for you.  Never did I imagine that I would find this astonishing love and a passion so guileless that the simplest “hello” rumbling from your lips can make me delightfully unsteady. I don’t even wish you had come into my life sooner – obliterating some of those long, empty years – after all, I was whole when you arrived, just as you were.  Neither of us was searching but we both knew instantly what we’d found.

I look up and, with a shy smile, I find you again.


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