Letter to a Reflection

Psst! Hey, you…

Who? Me?

Yeah, that’s right, you, little sister extraordinaire, with the curly hair. I see you in the mirror, staring back at me. I need to tell you something important. Please don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way. It’s from my heart to yours. Oh, and make sure you share what I’m about to tell you with your sister. She needs to hear this too. The both of you drive me insane.

Who are you?

I’m you. Call me your spirit guide or conscience. I don’t care, but please listen.

All right. Fine. I’m listening.

Okay, so about the only thing you have in common with your older sister is a set of parents. You need to get over whatever the hell happened between you as children. I’m sorry she picked on you, called you smelly and ugly. Let me rephrase that, ugly is an overstatement. Your sister once asked you how you had such a beautiful sister. Yeah, I know it hurt. Still does. But stop carrying that around. It’s merely part of the baggage you take everywhere you go. You know the one. It’s where you hide your emotional scars. Where all the pain you’ve endured dwells. Yes, there are times when you’re able to check your Samsonite at the door, but let’s be honest, shit from your past still bothers you.

Oh, and don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about either. You know exactly what I’m saying. Here, I’ll give you some examples:

  1. Kids throwing rocks at you, calling you big nose, threatening to beat you up after school because you were “too ugly to breathe.”
  2. Kids pretending to be nice to you, so you would loan them a pencil or a sheet of paper, or so they could copy off your homework.
  3. Coming home after being emotionally tortured at school and having your sister tear you down more, when all you wanted was for her to be nice. To be your friend unconditionally, not a stranger co-existing with you.

Why does she hate me? Where did things go wrong with my sister?

She doesn’t hate you. And I wish I knew where things went wrong. Believe me. I think it might be a lot easier to repair, fix, or establish a sisterly bond if you did. But you and her never had the kind of relationship other people envied. You’ve always envied sisters who laughed together, cried together, or helped each other figure out life without judgement. You want that closeness. You want to be able to pick up the phone and talk to her whenever you need to hear a friendly voice. Instead, you have been at each other throats most of your lives. And now…

And now. We don’t even know each other. I want to have a sister I can count on. Who has time for me and doesn’t treat me like I’m not important. 

Exactly, and you may never know each other, which is by far the saddest thing about both of you. It’s like a deep, dark secret. Most of your friends don’t even know you have a sister. How pitiful is that? Your parents are the only thing that binds you together, but once their gone, then what? You must fix this before it’s too late.

I know. But we are stuck. I don’t even know where to begin.

You start by picking up the phone.


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